In Response  posted Mar 12, 2007

MYTH-BUSTER #1

"The sexual abuse happened a long time ago."

• Past events have present power in our lives. My ordination happened a long time ago, but its effects have power for me as I embody it day by day. In the same way, a traumatic experience such as sexual assault is embodied in the victim and can have lasting power day by day. Sexual misconduct affects the victim, the offender, their personal relationships and the institutions and systems in which they are involved.
• In some cases, it can take victims 20 to 30 years before they remember childhood abuse, and the longer abuse goes on, the longer it can take for the victim to report it.
• Our psyches protect us until we're ready to face trauma. Left unresolved, the victim can experience serial sexual abuse, multiple personalities and other psychological disorders, substance abuse and eating disorders.
• Sexual exploitation by clergy can result in distrust of God and of the church, and parishioners leave the church, disillusioned.

In Response  posted Mar 12, 2007

MYTH-BUSTER #2

"Some Victims ask for It" About Children

• Psychologists tell us that a young person's ability to claim or recognize a need for personal boundaries is not established before their late teens. Legislators have recognized this, establishing laws that make it a criminal offense for an adult (someone over 18 in PA) to have a sexual relationship with a person who is a child in the eyes of the law (under 18). Thus, the expression, "16 will get you 20 (years in prison)." Such a sexual act with a minor is called 'statutory rape' or assault.
• A child victim is never responsible for causing abuse.
• Although victims tend to blame themselves, a child victim should not be blamed for causing abuse.
• Abusers use the tendency of a victim to blame themselves as one way of convincing the victim to maintain secrecy and silence about abuse.

In Response  posted Jun 28, 2007

MYTH-BUSTER #3

“The pastor has had an affair.”

Words have great power. It is tempting to minimize sexual misconduct by referring to it as an “affair” or an “indiscretion.” This it to deny the power and the trust invested in the clergy by members of their congregation and confuse the roles the ordained have in a congregational system. The violation of a pastoral relationship inflicts damage that affects the victim’s self image, her or his sexuality and spirituality. It is a betrayal of trust.