In Response
MYTH-BUSTER #1
“The sexual abuse happened a long time ago.”
- Past events have present power in our lives. My ordination happened a long time ago, but its effects have power for me as I embody it day by day. In the same way, a traumatic experience such as sexual assault is embodied in the victim and can have lasting power day by day. Sexual misconduct affects the victim, the offender, their personal relationships and the institutions and systems in which they are involved.
- In some cases, it can take victims 20 to 30 years before they remember childhood abuse, and the longer abuse goes on, the longer it can take for the victim to report it.
- Our psyches protect us until we’re ready to face trauma. Left unresolved, the victim can experience serial sexual abuse, multiple personalities and other psychological disorders, substance abuse and eating disorders.
- Sexual exploitation by clergy can result in distrust of God and of the church, and parishioners leave the church, disillusioned.
What to do?
Do not minimize the damaging power of sexual misconduct or abuse; know your reporting responsibilities; have a conversation with colleagues about safeguarding members and maintaining boundaries; attend Safe Church Training and take others with you. For more help, contact Barbara Blodgett, local counselors or the Samaritan Counseling Center nearest you.
Food for Thought
“One of the most chilling aspects of working in this field for almost 20 years is the institutional evil I have encountered while addressing clergy misconduct. I have seen just about every expression of denominational polity used to obfuscate the issue, deny its severity, blame the victim, keep the secret, and protect the power of the clergy. I discovered that despite differences in theology, organization, and understanding of mission, the one thing shared by all denominations is desire for self-protection that is based, in part, in patriarchal authority. Such authority is not specifically male, for there are numerous instances of women officials making the same dismal response as their male counterparts. Rather, denominational structures focus on using the power of the system to protect the system, instead of protecting the vulnerable and making a just response to those hurt by religious leaders.”
Patricia L. Liberty, in
When a Congregation is Betrayed: Responding to Clergy Misconduct
Beth Ann Gaede, Editor (Foreward by Pamela Cooper White) 2006
Alban Institute Publication, ISBN 1-56699-284-2
This first email was composed by the Rev. Ruth Lawson Kirk, who worked as an investigative caseworker in Child Protective Services in Indianapolis, Indiana from 1979-1983, serving part of that time in the Incest and Sexual Abuse Component. She joins the Rev. Sunny Hallanan and Ms. Barbara Blodgett in helping the diocese comply with the resolution passed in response to the bishop’s address on November 11, 2006. Your replies and your partnership are welcome.
MYTH-BUSTER #2
“Some Victims ask for It” About Children
- Psychologists tell us that a young person’s ability to claim or recognize a need for personal boundaries is not established before their late teens. Legislators have recognized this, establishing laws that make it a criminal offense for an adult (someone over 18 in PA) to have a sexual relationship with a person who is a child in the eyes of the law (under 18). Thus, the expression, “16 will get you 20 (years in prison).” Such a sexual act with a minor is called ‘statutory rape’ or assault.
- A child victim is never responsible for causing abuse.
- Although victims tend to blame themselves, a child victim should not be blamed for causing abuse.
- Abusers use the tendency of a victim to blame themselves as one way of convincing the victim to maintain secrecy and silence about abuse.
What to do?
Help a victim alleviate their sense of guilt by telling them repeatedly, “You are not to blame”. Non-victims should understand that “blaming the victim” will make the recovery process much more difficult and lengthy. An important issue for children is to help them deal with the fear that they will be in trouble if the abuse is discovered. Let them know that you accept them and will try to keep them safe.
Food for Thought
Children seek love, safety, affection, but generally not sexual relationships. If a child is abused in a church, the church building may represent painful memories and engender much confusion about God. "If the abuser was a male clergyperson, victims may struggle with patriarchal images of God that are reinforced by the church. They may also struggle with questions of theodicy, the age-old question of how God can be all good and all loving and all powerful when there is such evil and suffering in the world, and most particularly in their life. For many survivors, the only “answer” is that they themselves are bad, evil, and responsible for what happened. Maybe God loves other people, but not them. Sorting out who God is and who God’s representative is (and is not) is a critical part of recovery for survivors. Secular therapy can address shame and blame, but the spiritual dimensions of these issues are often ignored."
Patricia L. Liberty, in
When a Congregation is Betrayed: Responding to Clergy Misconduct
Beth Ann Gaede, Editor (Foreward by Pamela Cooper White) 2006
Alban Institute Publication, ISBN 1-56699-284-2
This second email was composed by Barbara Blodgett, Diocesan Pastoral Assistant, Diocese of Pennsylvania, with assistance from The Rev. Sunny Hallanan and the Rev. Ruth Kirk. This cooperative effort is intended as a means of educating all in the diocese about the long term effects of sexual abuse and dispelling its myths. Your replies and your partnership are welcome.
MYTH-BUSTER #3
“The pastor has had an affair.”
Words have great power. It is tempting to minimize sexual misconduct by referring to it as an “affair” or an “indiscretion.” This it to deny the power and the trust invested in the clergy by members of their congregation and confuse the roles the ordained have in a congregational system. The violation of a pastoral relationship inflicts damage that affects the victim’s self image, her or his sexuality and spirituality.It is a betrayal of trust.
In an essay, “Victims/Survivors: the Healing Journey,” Patricia Liberty writes, “When clergy, who are entrusted with the sacred responsibility of empowering one’s spiritual growth and development, exploit it for their own ends, the God image and one’s own sacred interiority are deeply wounded. Roman Catholic priest and psychologist, Stephen J. Rossetti contends that clergy are the image bearers for the divine, symbolic representatives of the larger truth and reality. When clergy abuse the power entrusted to them, that abuse is categorically and fundamentally different from abuse by any other professional, lawyer, physician or therapist. When clergy act in abusive ways, the image of the divine is shattered.” This is what we take vows to shape and heal, not to desecrate.
What to do?
Prevent misconduct by appropriate self care. If you are married, tend your primary intimate partnership so that it remains healthy. Once begun, ending sexual misconduct has much to do with creating justice and telling the truth in the congregation. In congregations where a predecessor’s sexual misconduct was known, pay attention to the language you and others use to describe it. Silence tells its own story—of shame, of complicity. Invite a consultant to help justice come from injustice and truth to spring up from silence. The Alban Institute has published, “When a Congregation is Betrayed: Responding to Clergy Misconduct.” Gather some colleagues to read and discuss it.
Food for Thought
Understanding sexual exploitation as an abuse of power "is the antidote to the notion that the pastor has had “an affair.” It is the basis for understanding how and why a seemingly private act of “sexual indiscretion” has shattered individuals, families, and the congregation." All misconduct occurs in a context larger than private sexual behavior. “It focuses on the professional relationship between the pastor and the congregant and the responsibilities of that relationship. In addition, by acknowledging the congregation as the setting in which the abuse occurred, it validates the feelings of betrayal that emerge in the rest of the congregation. An individual and an entire congregation are affected by this behavior.”
Patricia L. Liberty, in
When a Congregation is Betrayed: Responding to Clergy Misconduct
Beth Ann Gaede, Ed., (Frwd. by Pamela Cooper White) 2006, Alban Inst., ISBN 1-56699-284-2
This email was composed by the Rev. Ruth Lawson Kirk, an investigative caseworker in Child Protective Services from 1979-83, with help from the Rev. Sunny Hallanan and Ms. Barbara Blodgett . Your replies and your partnership are welcome.
To the Clergy and People of the Diocese of Pennsylvania
Re: Convention Resolution follow-up
A resolution was passed at the convention in November, 2006 seeking the provision of education on the long term effects of sexual abuse (misconduct). This is the first of a series aimed at strengthening awareness of its effects and breaking down the myths that surround sexual abuse, misconduct and keeping secrets about it.
